I met a coach in Florida who has been involved in the sport for most of his life, and he said a sentence which struck me: “Parents are killing tennis in America.”
All this talk about what’s wrong with the USTA development and the young American players may well be off target he says, in his humble opinion based on over two decades in the business. Maybe it’s the fault of the parents.
Too many parents are too hands on, always around, the parents think they know everything, they create too much pressure and take the fun out of it for the kid.
I’ve been to a couple of the academies over the years and you always see a few parents on the side of the courts watching their kid practice. It’s the middle of the afternoon, mind you. Don’t they have anything to do than watch their kid practice and learning tennis, day after day, year after year? Sure, it costs a lot of money to send kids to live and play full time at an academy. But is this the way to do it? What kid wants there parents around watching almost their every move like that?
The coach had a few zingers:
“I know one (Grand Slam major) champion who is miserable right now because of the parents.”
“(So and so) was in the finals of the Orange Bowl, now he’s driving around in a Mustang with a cigarette in his mouth.”
“(So and so) was in the final of Eddie Herr against Tomic. Now he’s playing Division 2 tennis.”
“The parents should leave the coaching to us. Go away to (a certain US state) and go make money.”
It seems a lot of parents think they have the next Roger Federer or Serena Williams. “So many kids around 12 show phenomenal talent. Beautiful strokes and form. But you don’t know what’s going to happen by the time they’re 15.”
“For every kid that makes it and wins a major, there are a million who fail. The parents are killing tennis.”
"French Open champion is miserable..."
Steve · April 10, 2013 at 10:08 am
I think kids learning tennis is very much like kids learning to play a classical instrument. You’re gonna have to play those scales thousands of times and you’re gonna have to hit thousands of forehands.
In baseball you can actually learn to field a ground ball pretty quickly and do a decent job of it. Tennis is much more difficult sport all around and the pressure of a parent doesn’t always help.
I had friend that hated practicing the violin so he recorded himself practicing scales and then would play the tape fooling his parents. hehehe
On the other hand, if the parent is a knowledgeable coach we know it can work but it’s probably no fun for the kid.
Seems it’s best when the kid has a natural love for it like Federer or Sampras.
Steve · April 10, 2013 at 10:10 am
In UNSTRUNG it seemed Querrey’s Mom handled it well but there was another kid whose Dad was way too hands-on. You could just see burn-out waiting to happen.
Scoop Malinowski · April 10, 2013 at 10:15 am
Steve; And both parents of Fed and Pete, to my knowledge, stayed in the background and did not put pressure on them. It sure must take the fun out of it to be a kid playing and practicing and always having parents hawking over you. And adding their unqualified two cents. I have a friend who was a world class athlete and an Olympic medalist (not in tennis) and he had his kid playing tennis, USTA, getting coached, and the kid has talent too. But the parent put too much pressure on the kid, even got on his case when losing about how much money he was spending on tennis, and all this made him a head case and took away the fun of the pure game. Very VERY talented kid too, just like the father. Can’t imagine how many parents have repeated this scenario.
Scoop Malinowski · April 10, 2013 at 10:17 am
BTW anyone see that Donald Young was dropped by Nike? Now wearing Lotto. DY also lost in first round of Guadalajara Mex quali this week to Adrian Menendez Maceira 63 61, after winning Leon Challenger last week. Probably tired. Hope to see DY in Sarasota next week.
Dan Markowitz · April 10, 2013 at 10:44 am
Parents do get too involved sometimes, but hey, if you’re kid is really good at playing tennis, it’s human nature for the parent to want to watch his kid play.
Like with my kid, I love hitting balls with him and I get a big kick out of the fact that he can hit baseline to baseline at 6 and knows how to roll the ball and hit on the run. Look, a parent has been with a kid since his first time stepping on the court. A lot of times, especially if he knows the game, he can give good insight.
I always stick around for my kid’s lessons. I want to see how the pro is conducting the lesson, what he’s trying to do technique-wise, and then when I hit with my son I can follow through on some of those teaching points. Pros that kvetch about the parents should learn how to drop those lessons or communicate with the parents better.
American tennis is not in its bad shape because of the parents.
Scoop Malinowski · April 10, 2013 at 12:52 pm
Some of the parents at acadmies I’ve seen are like mothers who look like they’ve never hit a ball over the net in their lives. So it’s not just parents who know tennis who are overly involved. I have heard and seen some examples of parents at tournaments, as well as from other coaches, being troublesome. “They think they know everything.” It’s hard to say if parents are generally the big problem. But coming from the source it did and the vehemence with the way he said it, and the experience he has, I found it interesting and worthy of sharing to our tennis-prose.com readers.
Andrew Miller · April 10, 2013 at 2:29 pm
It depends, I think the networks of support are more important. But there is positive and negative support – and refusing better coaching is definitely negative, as is having no support – no family or friends – to help out on tour. Simply the player can’t do it all.
Steve · April 10, 2013 at 2:29 pm
Well, letters of intent are sent to 8th graders that are 6’+ and run the 40 yrd dash in 4.46 seconds by football teams.
Will Pat McEnroe try to guide this kind of budding athlete to tennis???
8th grade far too late to begin tennis training? Rios started late.
Scoop Malinowski · April 10, 2013 at 2:53 pm
Andrew it was more like the parent observing the investment, than support, like watching their lil Federer come along. Business like. Serious. At least that’s how I interpreted it. But of course, support teams are hugely important, Djokovic always makes a point to credit his team and how he couldn’t do it without them. To create and produce a top 20 pro tennis player takes a massive amount of effort, sacrifice, work, money, luck. It’s like winning the lottery, millions try their luck at it but only a few win. Like the coach said, for every champion there are a million who fail.
Scoop Malinowski · April 10, 2013 at 2:58 pm
8th grade is too late. Most of the pro players were started in tennis by coach parents before the age of 5. Agassi and Fish started like out of the crib. Some make it, most don’t. Carlos Boluda of Spain won a big event as a kid twice that Nadal only won once, and he was being heralded as the next Nadal. Now he’s around 19-20 and struggling in Futures, ranked around 1000. A coach changed something in his game and it messed up his career, at least that’s what a Spanish coach told me.
Steve · April 10, 2013 at 3:14 pm
Well, then if they must start that young it may be a good idea for the parent to be present. I wouldn’t leave my youngster with a “tennis pro”. Not sure I would send my kid to a Lord of the Flies-type academy either.
Dan Markowitz · April 10, 2013 at 3:19 pm
Let me give you the flip side, Scoop. My son was playing in a Matchplay match the other night against a girl who’s 11 and belts the ball. Every time I walked away from the court or even glanced down at my I-Phone, I’d hear my kid say, “Daddy, you’re not watching the match.” So there are kids who want their parents to watch and be involved.
Secondly, if you’re kid is at Bolletteri’s or IMG, that is an investment. It doesn’t matter how much money someone has. It’s an investment of time, money and potential. Because let’s face it, the James Blakes’ of the world, who do really well in junior tennis and have the grades to get into Harvard are few and far between. If Agassi or Spadea didn’t make it on the pro tour, they were getting scholarships, but they most likely wouldn’t have excelled in academia because they’d been flexing a different muscle their whole lives.
Scoop Malinowski · April 10, 2013 at 6:01 pm
Well, Cal has some good eyes to be focused on the match and also who is watching him. This kid sounds like a showman already, of course I saw some of his flair on the grass courts of Newport two summers ago.
Scoop Malinowski · April 10, 2013 at 6:02 pm
Agassi Courier and the Bollettieri kids were all in Bradenton on their own under Nick’s supervision. No parents around.
Steve · April 10, 2013 at 7:04 pm
Scoop, I believe Agassi was more like 14 or 15 when he entered the Lord of the Flies academy. 🙂 His strokes were probably fully formed with his Dad by then. At least this his how it seems in his book.
Great players who had/have a relative as a coach is a very long list. You could start with the Williams sisters, Agassi and Nadal.
bjk · April 12, 2013 at 1:44 pm
With the exception of Pete and Fed – big exceptions, admittedly – most great players were younger bros. Chang had an older brother, Agassi, Roddick, both McEnroes, Andy Murray, etc. Didn’t Spadea have an older sister? Anyway, it’s very important to have that older sibling as role model and hitting partner, and by the time the second kid rolls around, the parents have already made all the mistakes.
tootsie · April 13, 2013 at 2:17 am
Nadal was the oldest – in fact he was the first grandchild / nephew in the whole large family and was totally doted on by everyone. He has a younger sister who is very athletic but doesn’t play tennis.
Djokovic is also the oldest of three brothers. His two siblings are lousy tennis players.
Sorry bjk, your older sibling theory doesn’t hold up at all.