Let’s Give Kyrgios Some Ideas To Enhance His Entertainment Value

By Scoop Malinowski

Nick Kyrgios loves to ham up his performances with all kinds of stunts and shenanigans. In tonight’s win vs. Albot which required four sets, Nick tried his tweeners and trick shots, his record breaking forehand smashes, his high risk second serves hitting 140 on the radar but he added a new twist to the Nick Kyrgios show tonight – he chattered away with ESPN courtside analyst Brad Gilbert.

That’s one thing about Nick, he needs his outlets to vent his creative on court colorful character. Nick needs to express his competitive creativity and so now we will try to help Nick with some ideas he can consider for the future which will get the fans talking and surely get the media’s attention…

Nick said he was starving after the match. To solve that issue in the future, Nick can call up a local pizza place and order a pie or meatball hoagie to his courtside chair. A few bites of carbs and protein will give him some extra energy. Plus, it will give Nick an outlet to chatter with the delivery man.

Enter the court on a skateboard. This would save Nick energy for his match. Plus it would be really cool and it would get Nick media coverage in the skateboarder magazines.

Incorporate the Michael Jackson moonwalk into his arsenal. Nick is a wonderful athlete capable of anything. He can slide out to his backhand corner via the moonwalk to hit an inside out forehand winner. This would be an easy trick shot for Nick to master and it would end up on the ESPN SportsCenter highlights.

Instead of calling for the trainer, Nick can make a call for his personal hair stylist, to fix his hair during an especially physical grinding match. Muhammad Ali used to comb his hair in the ring so Nick can play off of that. His stylist can come out on court during a changeover and re-comb and gel Nick’s signature styles. Or perhaps the stylist can even add a few cuts and lines or new colors in his head if Nick suddenly feels such an urge during a match.

Nick talks about liking to stay relaxed on court. How about smoking one of those old style old school pipes during changeovers? Pipe smoking is an age old pastime for relaxation and kicking back. Nick could revive that lost art by lighting up his pipe on changeovers. He can select tobacco flavors that would be pleasing to the fans in the front rows. He can also considerately ask the chair umpire and his opponent for any tobacco flavors they might prefer to smell.

Do you have any other ideas for Nick?


  • Duke Carnoustie · August 29, 2018 at 1:10 am

    Yeah I have some great ideas. Nick has been vocal that he likes basketball and video games much more than tennis.

    Put up a hoop on one side of the court and let Nick shoot at it in the middle of any point he feels bored. Here’s a trick: Put up the highest lob possible so that he has time to make a basket and still have a chance to return the oncoming smash.

    Then bring out a video game console for the changeovers that will be broadcast on the big screen. The millennials no doubt enjoy seeing how far Kyrgios progresses in his favorite video game. You can even set up a fan booth for fans to play Kyrgios at the video game during his match!

    These ideas will boost the crossover audience for tennis and bring in new viewers for sure. He is ideal for Nike after dumping Fed and soon Rafa and Serena too.

    The great Fed commented on Clownios:

    “I think he finds it hard to not do any of those tricks,” Federer said on ESPN’s post-match coverage, after opening his US Open campaign in New York.

    “Like myself, to some extent, we need the fun, we need the drop shot, we need some variation to everything, but he takes it to the next level.

    “I get it, but it’s hard for him. At one point, you’d think that it has to slow down a little bit. Usually it happens after your teenage years are over, but it’s been a few years and it seems like it’s getting more and more extreme, which is quite interesting.”

    “It’s very hard to play,” Federer said of a matchup with Kyrgios.

    “You, as an opponent, you know he’s not doing it against you, per se. He’s really just doing it for himself, so he stays entertained.

    “If I would play him here, I think I’d be really excited and intrigued about the matchup with him, because, against me, he always brings best. He rises to the occasion. I would love to face off against him.”

  • Duke Carnoustie · August 29, 2018 at 2:19 am

    I don’t want to keep harping on this Fed v. Nike situation but is it possible Fed is a bad businessman? How could be let Nike own his “RF” logo? That seems like something simple that anyone would negotiate through their legal team to not let a company like Nike hold those rights. It’s a ridiculous situation and he was asked about it at his press conference.

    The simple answer is that Fed or his agents are simply bad businessmen in letting Nike walk all over them.

  • Duke Carnoustie · August 29, 2018 at 2:55 am

    Contrast Clownios with this up and comer…

    “I’m just putting it all together; everything makes sense now,” Tiafoe said. “I know how to play the game, I know how to win tennis matches. You don’t have to hit highlight reels to win tennis matches, it’s just meat and potatoes, staying the course. I’m just more mature now.”

    Foe plays De Minaur next in a major showdown.

    Wednesday’s highlight match is Medvedev v. Tsitsipas. Remember Medvedev called Tsitsipas a “bullshit Russian” and told him to “shut your f— up” in Miami this year. Who will emerge as the victorious Russian this time?

  • Scoop Malinowski · August 29, 2018 at 7:25 am

    Medvedev also dared Tsitsipas to fight after the match but the Greek just walked off. This is a very very very interesting grudge match today.

  • Scoop Malinowski · August 29, 2018 at 7:28 am

    Yes, maybe the ATP should build video game consoles on the changeover chairs for the players to enjoy during changeovers or injury timeouts. The comfort of the players is of paramount importance so they can play their best tennis and perform for the ticket buying public.

  • Joe Blow · August 29, 2018 at 7:45 am

    Feds agents got him 300 mil for 10 years, whether he plays or not, Nike didn’t want to pay him once he stopped playing.. Think they did a pretty good job.

    Fed said he thinks and hopes Nike will eventually let him have RF. They’ll come up with a story that it’s all about Feds charity foundation, and work out some deal ..

    Ok a lighter note. At Feds match last night, a woman wearing a Fed hat, with a Fed autograph on the brim, caught a ball that Fed hit an overhead on…probably her dream come true..

  • Scoop Malinowski · August 29, 2018 at 7:48 am

    Fed with a good analysis of Kyrgios, almost calling him immature. They appear to like each other in public. Let’s see if Nick brings the heat and turns the maestro’s symphony into a circus.

  • Hartt · August 29, 2018 at 8:34 am

    Fed “almost” called Nick immature? The big deal would be to say anything else.

  • jg · August 29, 2018 at 10:13 am

    Federer-Kyrgios 3rd round may be bigger than any final, unless its Kyrgios Nadal or Novak, Kyrgios is simply more entertaining, when he says his only strategy on the serve is to hit it as hard as he can, even if its a second why not just go with it.

    These players are in great shape, but I don’t see how its humanly possible to play on hard courts at these temperatures, I played today from 7am to 8, and have never had to take breaks but today we barely lasted the hour with multiple breaks and thats at 7am (today is worse than yesterday because yesterday I was fine), to pay in those conditions after 11am is just brutal. Why would they not start today with the 10 minute heat rule?

  • Scoop Malinowski · August 29, 2018 at 11:47 am

    I just played one hour, its just too hot here. Ran out of water. But these players should be able to cope. They have unlimited water and electrolytes. They train in heat, in Florida like weather all year round. proper diet can help. My friend says his diet permits him to play for hours in 120 heat in Indian Wells. I saw F Lopez play two long matches in US Open heat a few years ago. I was pouring sweat just sitting there watching but he competed like it was 68 degrees. Read the details of the Iron Man immune to heat Lopez…

  • catherine · August 29, 2018 at 2:44 pm

    Scoop – is that 120 degs Fahrenheit ? I don’t believe anyone could play tennis for ‘hours’ in 120 degs. Not very energetic tennis.

    And as I said before, people have different tolerances for heat. If they can’t cope they can’t. The body is simply sending a message. It reaches a point where it can’t cool itself down. That’s how people die.

    It’s not heroic to perish of heatstroke playing tennis and if some players have to retire then to me they’re just being sensible. There’s no ‘should’ about it.

  • Scoop Malinowski · August 29, 2018 at 2:55 pm

    Catherine my friend plays in well over 100 in the desert in CA, he sends me the readings on his car temp, and the guy he plays is 70 years old! I can’t believe it but I know my friend is an animal and super fit and the guy he plays beat him most of the time so he’s great. And the fact that Feli Lopez had all those marathon wins in the severe heat shows it’s possible to play very good tennis in extreme heat. Some players can handle it better.

  • Hartt · August 29, 2018 at 4:58 pm

    But what is the humidity like when your friend plays? I bet it is nothing like NYC this time of year.

  • Scoop Malinowski · August 29, 2018 at 5:08 pm

    Hartt, yes it’s dry air out there, the humidity is brutal here now. I’m not sure how bad it feels in the desert but it’s rough here. Two former pros who never made it big told me the worst heat they ever experienced was down in Alabama in the summer, playing satellites.



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