Tennis Prose




Nov/15

7

Cool Tweets That We’ll Probably Never See

miamiopen@Serenawilliams want to play doubles @ausopen? @mariasharapova

@rogerfederer @mirka and I are proud to announce another set of twin boys which we have named Novak and Rafael

@Rafanadal @uncletoni has retired from coaching – my new coach will be @jimmyconnors

@marcelorios it’s an honor and privilege to be elected to international @tennisfame

@wimbledon Congratulations to our new gentlemans singles champion @johnisner

@rondarousey thanks everyone for the support – to beat @serenawilliams at #ufc200 was the highlight of my career – she is the toughest opponent ever

@miamiopen has been purchased by #larryellison

@usopen due to fan outcry we have cancelled plans to tear down the grandstand

@johnmcenroe Serena and I will play an exhibition at madison square garden in march – we will also play mixed doubles with Federer and Hingis

@atpworldtour we are announcing a new mandatory event with @wta a fifth wood racquet major on grass to be contested @longwoodclub in Boston in July after @wimbledon

@vincespadea thanks to todd martin for the wildcard into newport qualies @espntennis we have added @lukejensen @jimarias and @robbykoenig to our broadcast team

@rolandgarros @felixcanada congrats on breaking the all time record of @novakdjokovic with 25 majors Roger Federer the goal is to play in the 2028 Olympics

@wimbledon today’s gentlemans final – @christiansampras vs @jadenagassi

@australianopen congrats to @brianbaker and @jamiehampton for reaching the second week

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10 comments

  • Harold · November 8, 2015 at 7:48 am

    @ marcellp rios hof induction. Mutters something in Spanish, rips up Hof certificate, walks out screaming Adios suckers

    @mirka@kyrgios. Announce their engagement. Asked what they share in common. In unison, they reply, we both hate Wawa

    @rafa fired ucle toni, hired agassi . Moves to vegas, cook meth all day and abuse Sampras and Fed

    @ vince Spadea hof induction.. Ha ha, had you there for a second

  • Scoop Malinowski · November 8, 2015 at 8:40 am

    Not bad Harold – we might have to hire you as a full time commenter 🙂 Forgot to touch on the kyrgios Stan angle – maybe better that I didn’t as BG chewed me out on twitter for one of mt tweets defending Nick and saying what he said was not worse than some of the insensitive things muhammad ali said as a young man –

  • Bryan · November 8, 2015 at 12:52 pm

    “@wimbledon Congratulations to our new gentlemans singles champion @johnisner”

    Tweet to appear in July 2016. Tennis Twitter “servebot” meltdown lasts until September 2016.

  • Scoop Malinowski · November 8, 2015 at 5:28 pm

    Excellent win by Rubin 36 76 63 saved two Match points in the second – saw the end – Rubin covers the court like a cat and is steady as Ferrer -huge win – Paul looked good in defeat – blew a bh on the 30all point in the 34 gaMe – also a bad volley which caused hiM to toss his wilson – helluva win for Rubin – this could catapult a surge for Rubin next year –

  • Moskova Moskova · November 8, 2015 at 8:48 pm

    Wow – what fancies !! Just some of the most detached things I have ever heard in tennis. Rubin will win the AO16 !! Should rename to http://www.tennis-fantasies.com so everyone would know what they’re walking into…lol 😉

  • Moskova Moskova · November 8, 2015 at 8:53 pm

    Reality is that it will prlly be djoko as the favorite with the usual suspects in the running (fed, nadal, murray, wawa) in 2016….possibly a freak win by a top 25 player but no chance in the universe for a journeyman (100-200) to claim a GS and make some serious money !

  • Scoop Malinowski · November 8, 2015 at 9:10 pm

    Djokovic will be heavy favorite all year next year – the scary thing is he could get even better next year – andy rafa and fed could all regress – and it’s hard to envision any younger guy suddenly breaking out and pulling a stan or delpo —

  • Dan Markowitz · November 8, 2015 at 10:27 pm

    Big big win for Rubin. He catapults himself to the head of the group now with Fritz and Paul. The kid just knows how to win.

  • Scoop Malinowski · November 9, 2015 at 6:59 am

    I would rank this as the latest pecking order of the YATB (young AMerican teen brigade) – Fritz – Paul/Rubin – Donaldson – Kozlov/Tiafoe – MMoh – Opelka –

  • Moskova Moskova · November 9, 2015 at 9:15 pm

    Rubin could be the Jewish-hewitt….i’ve waiting for since Sampras….not 😉 lol

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