What The Hell…Best of 2018

Yes, my friends, it is time as 2018 comes to a close in only 14 days to have our annual “What the hell…” awards of the year.

Here’s’s Top 10 (If you have any to add, please feel free to join/post in):

1. How many times can Marin Cilic bounce a ball before hitting his first serve!? It’s friggin’ ridiculous. You could go out and have lunch during the time it takes for Cilic to serve the ball on some points before he finishes bouncing the ball like he’s hypnotized. What the hell?

2. What the hell…Stefan Kozlov, the former junior Wimbledon finalist is currently ranked No. 408!!!. He was once ranked no. 115. On lesser what the hell’s, Donald Young is ranked no. 273, hit top-ranking no. 38 and Ernesto Escobedo is ranked no. 195, his best ranking no. 67. What the hell!

3. Justin Gimelstob did not lose his job on the ATP Board even though he punched out a friend of his ex-wife’s 50 times and told him, “I”m going to fucking kill you,” in front of the ex-friend’s wife and two-year-old daughter. What the hell?

4. Justin Gimelstob’s excuse for hitting his ex-friend over the head 50 times and threatening his life is that the ex-friend made fun of Justin’s father apparently just after Barry Gimelstob died. What the hell?

5. Andre Agassi is Grigor Dimitrov’s new coach or superstar mentor. Agassi and his new project have about as polar-opposite games as can be configured. Since Agassi became Dimitrov’s coach, Dimitrov though has started losing his hair like Agassi. What the hell?

6. Bob Bryan is returning to the pro double tour after getting a hip-resurfacing that entails placing a metal ball into Bryan’s hip socket and femur bone. I know this is doubles, but no pro player, singles or doubles has ever come back from having a hip implant and many great players like Gustavo Kuerten and Magnus Norman, and possibly now Andy Murray, were only shadows of themselves after having regular hip surgery. What the hell?

7. Jack Sock is returning to the ATP singles tour in 2019 after having won a total of nine, yes 9, matches in 2018. He is now ranked no. 106 after starting 2018 ranked no. 8. He does have a new girlfriend though. No, this I don’t know, but I do know, what the hell?

8. Venus Williams fired her coach, David Witt of 11 years, in a two-minute phone conversation. Witt seemed to take it well saying, “I don’t even need to know why; it’s just her decision. It is what it is, and we had a great run, and nothing lasts forever.” But we say, What the hell?

9. Rudy Quan of Sacramento, CA. has gotten to the finals of the Orange Bowl 12’s tournament losing a total of 12 games in five matches. What the hell?

10. Finally, the last what the hell. Andy Roddick said Roger Federer should never play on clay again. I’m going to go human shield on this one,” said Roddick. “He should never play on clay again. It’s really hard on the body. He shouldn’t. Go ahead, say no now’.” Mind your own business, Andy. I”d like to see the Fed play the French one last time. What the hell?

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  • Michael in UK · December 18, 2018 at 7:41 am

    haha, great list there Dan. Very enjoyable.
    Seasons greeting to you, Scoop, Catherine, Hart, Duke, and all the other regualar readers and commenters here.

  • Dan Markowitz · December 18, 2018 at 8:33 am

    What the hell? What happened to Duke? I think he’s going to pop up as either Tennys Sandgren’s or Ryan Harry Harrison’s new coach in 2019 because we certainly haven’t heard hide nor hair of him here lately at Tennis-Prose.

    Happy holidays Michael.

  • Scoop Malinowski · December 18, 2018 at 9:43 am

    How is clay hard on the body? All us senior players love clay because it’s EASIER on the body. Federer has to keep trying to beat Rafa on clay, play one Masters and Roland Garros and skip Halle and Miami. Rudy Quon won his semi 6060. Boy what a dominant player, just steamrolled to the final of OJ Bowl which he is a 1000-1 favorite to win in SS. Hope this kid’s career isn’t peaking too early. Gimelstob saying this guy Kaplan made fun of his father as an excuse for punching him 50 times is the most ridiculous excuse in the history of crime. Sad that the ATP and Tennis Channel and so many players still support him. Ray Moore and Doug Adler make some controversial comments and there careers are ruined and Gimelstob beats a guy to near death and his nothing happens. What the hell is wrong with these people?

  • Hartt · December 18, 2018 at 10:03 am

    I’d like to add my Season’s greetings to everyone here.

    The new tennis season can’t come fast enough!

  • catherine · December 18, 2018 at 12:38 pm

    Yes, Seasons Greetings or Happy Christmas to everyone and I’m looking forward to actual tennis because it’ll take place in the sun which is in short supply in UK at present.

    What I want to know about the Gimelstob saga is those 50 punches – exactly 50. Who was counting ?

  • Dan Markowitz · December 18, 2018 at 1:41 pm

    There is due process that has to be enacted, but Gimel saying he punched a guy out in front of his 2-year-old because the guy made fun of his just-deceased father (I think he also said that Kaplan started it, but that doesn’t mean you have to clunk hm 50), seems ridiculous. Firstly, I can’t imagine Kaplan did what Gimel’s saying he did because most people do not defame someone else’s father when the father just died and the son is in Halloween costume.

    I also can’t imagine Gimel will still hold his positions with the ATP and Tennis Channel after this goes through the court system. It’s sad on many levels, but Gimel does seem to be a very caring and loving father.

  • Scoop Malinowski · December 18, 2018 at 4:22 pm

    That’s the bizarre thing about it, Gimelstob does seem like a good guy, upstanding citizen, quality ambassador for the sport, except for that Kournikova incident. But this violent attack and the many other confrontations make it seem he’s a Jekyll and Hyde, OJ type lunatic. Can’t see another adult mocking Gimelstob’s father shortly after his passing, that has to be a lie, unless this Kaplan character is a total nutter. That’s a possibility.

  • Scoop Malinowski · December 18, 2018 at 4:23 pm

    Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and Seasons Greetings to all our readers, thanks for helping us to have another excellent year with the site with tons of good discussion and analysis.

  • Doug Day · December 20, 2018 at 4:07 pm

    I heard a rumor the batterer was being groomed to head the ATP. Could a rival for the position have arranged the beat down knowing the candidates predilection for solving problems with his hands?

  • Scoop Malinowski · December 20, 2018 at 4:25 pm

    Doug you might be pushing it with such an left field theory but anything is possible. what is really odd is how the mainstream media is ignoring this story. If an executive board member of another pro sport did this it would be major news and constantly chattered about. Yet Gimelstob is getting a free pass, no one is talking about it. This was a pre-meditated brutal assault attack. Media is silent. Just imagine if this was a white executive assault crime on a black victim how insane the news would be about it.

  • Dan Markowitz · December 21, 2018 at 10:09 am

    Are you kidding me, Scoop? The New York Times has already run two articles on the story. I was surprised the Times would give Gimelstob the attention. I mean, outside of the tennis world, does anyone know who Justin Gimelstob is/was? I think the bizarre nature of the attack merited the Times’s attention as much as who Gimel is.

    But the Times’s tennis writer, David Waldstein, has written two pieces. Remember, the event has not received it’s court reckoning yet. I’m sure after that is settled, there will be more.

  • Scoop Malinowski · December 21, 2018 at 11:18 am

    I dont read NYT so missed that. There was a court appearance last week or the week before where he pleaded not guilty and also the ATP voted to not oust Gimelstob which is a stunner and newsworthy. The media made a big deal out of Ray Rice and Kareem Hunt, if there’s video of this attack which the prosecutor supposedly said there is, let’s see if the media plays it to the hilt like Rice and Hunt debacles were.



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