Red Bull, Monster energy drinks, exercise since it enhances performance, water, since if one player uses more he has to take more bathroom breaks and that is not fair….
Food because if one eats a Twinkie for breakfast the kale, carrot and blueberry smoothie for Djoker for breakfast is totally lopsided and we cannot have that….
Air, especially clean air cannot be allowed around the top players because it would be an unfair advantage for Chinese players from Beijing with all the smog….. everybody should start using sand paper for toilet paper because the Russians have an unfair advantage since the 50’s using newspaper for toilet paper …..
Ban all left handed tennis players because they have an unfair advantage on the add side serve because they are well great at serving wide on three “mega points”…..
Ok for you dumbasses out there that is 40-0, 40-30 and add in, whereas on the deuce court there is only 40-15 to win the game with….. Kerber is the only lefthander who can stay as her serve means nothing on the add side…..ok, she is going to nail me for this…
Nobody taller than 6′ can play tennis as the giants have better serves and can kick sand in the eyes of bullies on the beach with confidence.
Ban all center courts as the top players only play on the “vast plains” of wonderfully manicured and spaceful courts to run when mere mortals play next to peanut vendors and hamburger stands with fat middle aged men without shirts are watching….
Ok, where is this going to end?….
By Johan Kriek via Facebook page
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